The last remaining landline will be at my fixed location

“I am not going quietly into this mobile era of constant and instant availability.”

I am not cool with it.

Everyone I know except me has ditched their landline. I am the last of the Mohicanslandlinians.

When you reach someone on a home phone in a fixed location – they just might have time to connect and have a discussion in a very human and important way – at least they could have – in a bygone era.

That is gone.

“OK Cave guy, you sound like a Neanderthal now – progress is progress – either get on the bus or get run over.”


Here is what we got with the smart mobile era:

First – what is a “good” number for you? They change so often, it is impossible to keep current unless you are in the “circle” who gets the “new number update” – which I didn’t get because I am still on three numbers ago — My bad.

Second – are you a talker or a text-er?… “Oh, I don’t talk anymore or answer voice mails –  Pls txt me btch.”

Third- if I make it through those first two hoops and don’t get a response … now I am being ignored … which means insulted.

And I still haven’t talked to you.

Yeah – this new system is so much better.

And I just want to talk – you know because we are family or friends and that is how we stay that way.

I JUST WANT TO TALK

(sorry, I’m yelling now)

And here is what happens when you do finally get to the mighty castle of “Connection”.

“Oh Hi Wayne, what’s up – I’m just sitting on the toilet at a thruway rest stop, but I saw it was you so I picked up – no problem, just a little stomach bug – go ahead –  what you calling about?”

“Dude- I was just checking in, nothing important”

“Oh-then you should just text me”

“Thanks-I’ll remember that for the next time (which will be never) – sorry to catch you indisposed”

That is how it goes for me so I have basically given up talking to my friends.

Talking on the phone is a lost art.

Gone.

It is replaced by this endless barrage of texting.

And by texting – I think I mean gossiping with words.

We get inane texts to interrupt our work and become inefficient – then while we are enjoying free time – we get inane texts from work to interrupt that. We are always working and always texting. There is no separation of church and state in our lives.

And it is driving us all mad.

This is so much better – “here let me show you another cat video and I just got this app that makes my face look like a squashed pumpkin- this phone is so cool – my whole life is on it.”

I love this phone

I hate this phone


I just wanted to talk– you know about how things are going for you and how things are going for me, and then maybe we feel more connected – and maybe we can help each other if help is needed. You know life – and how to get through it and stuff – but only when you have a few moments.

And that can’t happen anymore – soooo

That is why I blog…It is as close as I can get.

Here is a 5-pack of my favorite Telephone songs.

 Glen Campbell – Wichita Lineman

Jim Croce – Operator

E. L. O. – Telephone Line

Rikki Don’t Lose That Number – Steely Dan

Lady Gaga – Telephone

Am I insane on this? And did I miss a great telephone song for my 5-pack? Would love to hear what you guys think.

Cave Olympics – Pop

cave-medal-salute-5

The Bronze:

A truly great pop song will weave itself into the fabric of society.

Sir Elton John.Rocket Man

Elton John and Bernie Taupin wrote some great pop songs-this is my favorite. Their collaboration represents a high-water mark for Top 40 radio and raised all boats to a new level of  quality.

This man was not knighted because of Knomio and Juliet or that Circle of Life thing in Lion King.

Not only do we have a fantastic song by Captain Fantastic-We also have this sequel to Bowie’s Space Oddity and a Ray Bradbury Sci-Fi vibe going on. It was like realizing that the space age is not something that should freak us out anymore-this is where we live now.

He brought the whole thing down to earth so that we could all go on the trip and get back home safely.

The best art always takes you on a journey and lets you return to solid ground.

It makes me think of this video which is worth a look because it brings this thing full circle.

http://www.space.com/19907-astronaut-plays-peter-gabriel-for-peter-gabriel-video.html

Like the song says-Being a rock star or an astronaut is a job- getting up and putting on the flashy suit to punch the clock and do the best you can for the day. You do not always have to like it and you don’t always have to be completely swept up in the emotion of the experience us mere mortals take as living like a god. In fact, if you approach it the right way- you just might stay on top and have people care for a “long , long time”.

The Silver:

Lady GaGa.Bad Romance

“I’m a free bitch, baby”

This line makes me laugh when I hear it yelled in the background-it also evokes strength and power when it returns later in the song as a cold statement of fact.

I love Lady Gaga- She always knocks over the big milk cans of society and does not care who gets splashed. She is bigger than life; riding a wave of controversy with flair and artistry. She just goes for it every single time.

She has been accused of being everything bad in this world-she has even been labeled as being a man?

This man thing kind of confuses me- It is a weird kind of redneck feminist fear about her being too powerful to be a woman. That same fear would turn into a life-threatening blood rush of excitement if she posed in one of her costumes with a bow and stood over the carcass of a fresh killed 8 point buck.

We live in strange times and she is our hero.

I am not a little monster but we created this phenomenon known as Lady Gaga.

And she says more about us than we do about her.

The Gold:

Micheal Jackson.Billie Jean

“Billie Jean is not my lover, she’s just the girl who claims that I am the one”

A  good ol’paternity lawsuit will give you a little street cred, especially when you are trying to break through and become the “King of Pop”.

Or a song about it is close enough to send Michael Jackson into the stratosphere of musical stardom; he would not find his way back to earth.

Bob Dylan once said that everyone had a copy of the “Thriller” album. The record was a big deal-it broke the color barrier on MTV….who would have guessed that MTV would break the stupid barrier a few years after this and never look back?

This was 1982 when MTV and vinyl records still ruled the earth…I know…it does seem possible, almost as relevant as dinosaurs to a generation today-but it did happen.

Just like with Lady Gaga- Michael Jackson gives us all these weird dichotomies- Woman or man “He is trying to look like Elizabeth Taylor” Black or White “He is getting skin lightning treatments”-  Kid or  Adult…I don’t know where to start with this one.

And that is just a hint of the circus that followed “His One-Glovedness” around.

This song is as good as pop music gets and we have a moon walk on top of the podium.

Next –we take on Progressive—and as always-Cheers from the cave!