Journey

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Do not judge my journey

If you want to try:

Please put my shoes on and walk—-not forward~ No — Too easy –

Walk back – walk through all the years – walk through all the pain – walk until there are no shoes on a tender little baby foot – then you can judge me — If you still want to.

I refuse to do that anymore, to me or to anyone else – we can only go forward — and I only know what you dare to tell me of your own journey — and that is still just a drop in the ocean of your existence…

I won’t judge you – that is a promise, that is my philosophy – that is my mantra

– if we meet on the same trail; I will try and help you – or at the very least, not make your way more difficult.

We each make our way– we are each walking the best we know how.

Until we learn to walk better –

We can always learn to walk better.

Notes: This is on one of the trails in Acadia National Park – so many wonderful steps in the high ground by the ocean. The landscape is majestic >>>>>>> it restored my soul.

 

Music and Ink…..and blogging

Music and Ink…..and blogging

I woke this morning with full awareness that my mind and spirit were connected, attached to my body that was hurling through space on a giant rock. That rock was spinning in a beautiful dance of gravity playing a part in an endless universe … which may be just a drop in a vast ocean of countless other universes.

Yeah baby, I’m back!

It makes all the mundane connections with people I know seem nothing short of miraculous.– I mean,…  to make “me”— all these weird connections of people, places and things over the eons of time since before we even got to living in the caves – I just think about that — everything had to line up or this “me” that is writing would not be here—- and that goes the same for each person that reads this — and also the same for the lady at the deli that I will let cut in ahead of me because she has two screaming kids and needs to get her maple ham and American cheese.

Which makes the connections that are truly “special” nothing short of divine because ….. I mean, …. What are the chances that you and me have a conversation?

It just causes the brain to ignite and fire countless neurons to not figure out.

You may think that this is a strange —- but I think like this all the time —– and have not thought like this in many weeks.

Because I was not connected.

My mind was in severe pain – my spirit was lost and whirring out of control – and my body seemed to disconnected.

They said I was depressed – I don’t know if that word fits – but I will go with it because it and me were so similar that you could not tell us apart even at a short distance.

So we go to ink –

A thought in my mind – that becomes a sketch (in fact, many sketches before it was right) – that goes into illustrator to become a vector – that sings to me in a perfect riot of frenzied negative space.

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My mind thinks it – my spirit is at peace with it – the tattoo artist inks it to my body – we are all together again. One happy family that is the trio of the Wayne. I am here – I am validated.

My first tattoo – and already thinking how to add to it.

And as I ran through the chords of “Key to the Highway” last night on my acoustic guitar — I understand what Big Bill Broonzy was saying – I understand the feeling – I understand the blues.

I get it – there are things and feelings that we all share – that are the human condition – It’s part of jamming a spirit in a body and having a mind trying to figure out what to do with it- how to make a way – how to rise above and move forward.

Isn’t that part of why we blog? This need to connect and validate our existence.

I play a lot of guitar and I sing all the time – this is new – but was always there.

I just could not put in the work to access it – I don’t feel like that anymore.

I feel that I have nothing to fear – I feel that I better get whatever is in there out.

Be dammed if it is good or bad or indifferent.

Just get it out!

So I feel better – And the only reason I am writing instead of playing right now is because it is too early and I will wake the kids.

I leave you with a new song that speaks to me – attitude and blues – I need it.

 

 

Space Junk

02271602Taking the dog out to pee in the early morning when still dark.

I look up and see a plane and beyond that something else is sliding across the sky.

A satellite – cool – that is not a plane.

How do you know?

  1. Looks like a star moving at the speed of a plane*

*(yes turbo geeks – I know it is much faster and much higher up than a plane – but those ratios line up to make it “appear” the same speed to the observer. Everything is relative – Einstein said that!!! So there!)

  1. No flashing lights on a satellite.

That is it people — You are a satellite hunter – go forth and catch one!

There is a great website where you can track these things.

http://www.heavens-above.com/

You put in your location and then you get a map with predictions of all the things that orbit bright enough to see– this means I could check the chart and find out that a soviet rocket body launched in 1984 just flew over me and my dog.

Hint: If it is straight up in the sky above your head — you are looking for the magic 80 degree number to help you narrow it down.

—————————————————————

I drew my little not to scale map because it got me thinking how I look from up there – A random non-descript person with a huskie/corgi  dog. Outside looking up – The sun has to be at the right angle to light this rocket for me to catch it. I am alive on the planet earth. I am somebody and me and my dog are ok.

This is a big deal – to realize how special it is to be involved in the grand scheme of the universe in a moment. Which by the way — is every single moment!

We only get so many of them.

I am a lucky man.

I am.

Notes: My next post will be the cave re-launch post – I am trying something new which means fixing all the typos and glitches before I publish.

Thanks for the support and happy existing everyone!

Clouds

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Clouds this morning

I walked outside to a renaissance painting of a sky – I got this thing for looking up – clouds, stars, birds, rain, snow — all the stuff from the heavens— I don’t know if it is a thing or a sensitivity.

You could be accurate when you say – “I have my head in the clouds”.

This morning was wild – the clouds were painted – I almost expected Zeus to reach down and tap me on the shoulder… saying something godly like “Dude, really? What you looking for? Take your dog for a walk or something – It’s going to be a nice day!”

Something like that – but it was just me looking up and feeling a little juice in the atmosphere.

A little wake-up call to action.

I need that spark  because my next post will be the grand “Mission Statement” about the future of the cave.

Changes coming to the way we operate around here.

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Walking on water is faith

icewalkingWhile I was walking on Mirror Lake –  I was thinking   “wow’ – this is cool – this is like …  ice on a wound.

Maybe “wow” is not the right word – How about “whoa!”

The snow was fluttering down like at the end of a Hollywood blockbuster.

Big Flakes – big fluffy formations that will melt in your mouth if you just open up to receive this frozen manna from the heavens.

And I did

I don’t care who is watching and I don’t care what anybody thinks – I am walking on a frozen lake in a snow squall and I am….

I am …

Walking in faith

Walking on water is always that – and walking on a frozen lake is walking on water.

 

I know from the science that water freezes at 32 degrees F or Zero degrees C. And while that freezing takes place the temperature remains the same.

If you put a thermometer in a glass on freezing water it will be exactly zero.

But something amazing is happening —TRANSFORMATION

I am working through this grieving process which frequently leads me to still places in my mind — and still water has this soothing effect.

Not stagnant water (there is a difference, believe me,  spent enough time swimming in that!) — This is calm, pristine and renewing water.

Nothing is more still than frozen – nothing more pristine than a mountain lake and nothing more like walking to a renewed shore than walking on water.

I am the same – but transformation is happening.

And yeah that was yesterday in Lake Placid (of all places)

[I am not making this up -I am just trying to live my life]

 

 

 

 

Night Swimming – under the radar

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I am thinking of going anonymous with a hidden blog so I can swim a little further out – there is stuff I can’t share with my friends – there is stuff I can’t share with anybody I know. (or more accurately: anybody that knows me)

When I say can’t~

I guess I can.

No – don’t think so.

What stuff we talking about cave guy? – you are a free sharer on your blog and on your Facebook. Some might say a nauseating over-purveyor of pics and sayings and all kinds of crap.

No – I am not.

Because I am conscious of the audience – on Facebook there are lots of kids —including my kids.

And on WordPress there are lots of … well everybody …. including an occasional visit from my mom.

Does that limit me or is the censorship a curb that keeps my insanity digestible?

So a question to my anonymous friends out there.

What do you think?

Does it help you to keep a veil between you and us?

I am not talking about “coming out” but “going in”.

Like a skinny dip in the pool at night with no one watching. (see- should I even say that? A bit edgy don’t you think, but then again —at my age and physique coupled with my pedestrian appearance – is anybody really going to be intrigued?)

Note:

This picture was taken at daybreak last February at the infinity pool in Cancun! Loved that trip!

 

Skate = Joy

My blades hit the ice and I am free – even though I am weaving in and out and around masses of inept humanity —

I am free

Even though I am old and rusty

I am free

You people don’t understand – you 4 or 5 better skaters out here that seem to be taunting me

I am free

You can’t contain me – you can’t diminish me

I am free

 

Thanks to my kids for dragging me down to the rink. Something happens when I get out on the ice – my spirit tends to soar, not just a little – but completely. I don’t care what anyone thinks about it—-

And to know it still happens, …. Even now, when I am feeling a bit “relicly” and a bit “used up”.

It is a cold fact that I am beat-up and in recovery mode.

But not on the ice

On frozen water

I am free.

[Disclaimer: I am a 50+ dinosaur from another age with semi-blunt skates that are half my age – I may have a diminished skill set—–but the SWAG —-oh yeah —- that is intact]

Cheers from the ice!