I was up on the Hudson river on a perfect early fall afternoon … the remnants of Florence reflected in the water. She played very nice up here – I know she didn’t play so nice in the Carolinas. Storms come and storms pass.
Photos
River
Winter Solstice, Lake George, NY
Winter Solstice
I took a trip up to my favorite lake to take some shots – simple symmetry, summer and winter in the same place. The longest day vs the shortest day. It felt correct.
The weather was not perfect – 15 degrees F (that’s really friggin’ cold for Celsius people!) And very, very windy. The cold was ok – it was the wind that messed up any lake reflections — add to that the absence of clouds to not help with color.
It got me to thinking about the rift between what we want a day to be and what a day really is. It got me thinking about what a life should be and what it is being. A mode of acceptance. Acceptance means happiness – that sounds way too simple. As an idea it is simple, as a practice, it is not.
I’m basically alone (save for a couple random joggers and dog walkers, hearty bunch in this weather), I’m at this beautiful place on the planet – no one is telling me what to do or where to go – no one is checking my ID at the gate – I’m free. Life is good. To get up and have capturing a scene at sunrise as your mission for the day – that’s a good day.
Beyond that I’m blessed – As I drove home – that fresh new bright solstice sun was bright in my face – lighting up my way ahead – exposing and igniting my future. I’m here and now – I’m feeling the soul of humanity – this was a big day for ancient peoples. This was their concert and their technicolor laser light show. The rhythm and pace of space and time. This was hope.
A big deal.
It’s still big deal.
At least for me, two joggers, three dog walkers, and a very tough pair of mallard ducks – (ducks are tough up here swimming in this weather).
Cheers from the cave!
P.S: Summer Solstice from the same spot
Solstice
Summer Solstice
As I lay down the night before – I say to myself “I’m not getting up at 4am to chase the sunrise, I kinda want to sleep”
I woke at 4am – and I knew that I would get after it – it’s the solstice – I love the solstice
Mankind has loved this day since they figured out what it was – the steady reliable cycle of the sun bringing stability to an unstable world— countless generations paying homage to the spinning of the earth – countless people making what they will of it.
Gods are formed around the mystery of the passage of time. The journey of our birth to our death that spins and moves in a universe of wonder.
I love the solstice. It connects me to bigger things.
I visited my grandmother in England many, many moons ago. I wanted to go to Stonehenge and we went on the solstice – I did not know what that meant – I did not know it was a “thing”.
Since then its stayed with – watching me – checking in on me as I stumble through life.
I remember my grandmother as I drive to chase the light – it’s a big thing to understand that the world will spin – things will flow – and we will go – we can join in the cosmic dance or we can wait it out —- either way the solstice will cycle on and on.
Notes: Lake George NY is close enough to be local for me – There was a woman walking her dog on the beach and nothing else going on in town at sunrise. I didn’t have to edit this photo except for a splash of highlight on the buoy – a quick shake of light – nothing else. If you wonder how I am — I say — mostly I am ok – I’m not the same- I try to make the most of the days instead of the least of the days —- that is a better way to live.
Red Rocks
Red Rocks
It was still dark when I got there.
Kids lined up outside the entrance, in sleeping bags under the Colorado sky.
The middle of the 2nd night for 21 Pilots.
“All my friends are heathens take it slow, wait for them to ask you who you know – please don’t make any sudden moves, you don’t know the half of the abused,”
The “us and them” theme of rock misc.
Now I’m them – I’m too old – I’m too slow – I’m the establishment – I’m done…….
I’m at Red Rocks
Sunrise – the sleeping bag kids sit up on the hill and face the light as the earth turns.
A ride we are on – this rock hurling through space and spinning our time away.
I’m ok – somehow, I’m ok
Now with the day started ~ the yoga and gym people arrive – they are using this arena to workout, to physically connect – the temple is their body – they are worshiping all around me.
I’m taking some shots with my camera – I’m happy to be here – I feel like I’m in the middle of a wildlife special – watching the locals interact with their environment – just a visitor – just a stranger.
Red Rocks is a wonder of rock music.
I’m full of wonder.
Notes: In Denver on our way back from a trip to the black hills of South Dakota (more on this later) – had to get up at 3 am to fit this site in and work it around our flight home – plan to get back for a show sometime. I have more pictures, this is my favorite taken with an iPhone.
Where do I stRT?
Since you left me or, more accurately: I left you – Wow – and whoa and wheew – yeaoh = I am here and I am alright.
I feel like I need to just let everyone know that my basicness is okness – (yeah, I know I am making up words that don’t exist).
How are you? And, I am ok ~ doesn’t come close to the gamut of reflection and metamorphosis of the last few months.
Some new habits:
I meditate everyday – I go to the gym three times a week – I run; 5 Ks now, looking at a half marathon sometime next year. I am stronger mentally and physically. I am a success story in many ways.
With that is also the intense pain that continues to flow at times – maybe not with the complete flooding of the beginning – but all the power is intact.
The difference between sitting next to a rushing river and being in a rushing river.
The river is the same —– you have a different perspective.
You know it is only a couple steps away – — you know you will always hear it and feel it —– but somehow – you are ok.
Am I coming back to WP? I think so – but I can’t say for sure right now.
Still putting myself back together – Come a long way and far to go.
I leave you with a photo of a bighorn sheep I took in July from the Badlands — that is one of the wows! – the Badlands and me — we understand each other.
Hope to write again soon.
Wayne (caveguy)
Journey
Do not judge my journey
If you want to try:
Please put my shoes on and walk—-not forward~ No — Too easy –
Walk back – walk through all the years – walk through all the pain – walk until there are no shoes on a tender little baby foot – then you can judge me — If you still want to.
I refuse to do that anymore, to me or to anyone else – we can only go forward — and I only know what you dare to tell me of your own journey — and that is still just a drop in the ocean of your existence…
I won’t judge you – that is a promise, that is my philosophy – that is my mantra
– if we meet on the same trail; I will try and help you – or at the very least, not make your way more difficult.
We each make our way– we are each walking the best we know how.
Until we learn to walk better –
We can always learn to walk better.
Notes: This is on one of the trails in Acadia National Park – so many wonderful steps in the high ground by the ocean. The landscape is majestic >>>>>>> it restored my soul.
Mini Me
Don’t worry about me
The people I have met – the music I have played – the places I have been
The last few weeks have been a whirlwind
Below is a picture of my new car on a trip I took a few days ago up to Bar Harbor in Maine. Just me and my new mini motoring around – and it was something – it was what I needed.
I wake each day with the desire to do the best with the time in front of me.
And I sleep each night downloading the wonder and allowing it to cycle through my dreams.
I really am blessed.
Is there still pain?
Yes – there will always be –
But that is not the default mode
The default mode is to live, to laugh and to love.
I have more traveling to do in the coming weeks and will return to more blogging at some point
Wish you all well my friends>
Checking In
Not a successful photo-shoot — but it is my first this year — this is a good step.
My life has experienced more sadness recently than ever but I feel it is finally letting go —
– because I have finally let go.
It is ok for me to feel joy, in fact, it is ok if I run to that bliss and meet it head on.
Until this week I would not let myself do that – I felt that: I did not deserve it and was not entitled to it. Those of you who have experienced great loss probably understand this.
So yesterday – I let myself have sushi for the first time in forever and it was sublime.
Today I took some photos.
Small steps indeed — but good steps.
Notes: This is more like a recovering from grief post that I would not put on this site — but I had not posted in so long, wanted everyone to know where I was.
Wish you all well.
I continue to drive myself to a new shore – I no longer dread it is happening – I welcome it.
(Although like the deer, I am cautious)
Action
I have been working on my photographs – editing and starting the printing process – I am working to get enough together for some kind of show – some kind of public thing — put myself out there.
I don’t know exactly how to approach it – but it needs to happen – I have nothing to lose.
Really – What’s the worse that can come from this?
I can’t think of any negatives – even “failure” is not a negative.
Failure is still a dive into something.
Still living.
Not doing or trying that is the worse that could happen.
I don’t mind falling flat on my face.
I really don’t – I have nothing to lose.
Cave of Fame 