It was still dark when I got there.
Kids lined up outside the entrance, in sleeping bags under the Colorado sky.
The middle of the 2nd night for 21 Pilots.
“All my friends are heathens take it slow, wait for them to ask you who you know – please don’t make any sudden moves, you don’t know the half of the abused,”
The “us and them” theme of rock misc.
Now I’m them – I’m too old – I’m too slow – I’m the establishment – I’m done…….
I’m at Red Rocks
Sunrise – the sleeping bag kids sit up on the hill and face the light as the earth turns.
A ride we are on – this rock hurling through space and spinning our time away.
I’m ok – somehow, I’m ok
Now with the day started ~ the yoga and gym people arrive – they are using this arena to workout, to physically connect – the temple is their body – they are worshiping all around me.
I’m taking some shots with my camera – I’m happy to be here – I feel like I’m in the middle of a wildlife special – watching the locals interact with their environment – just a visitor – just a stranger.
Red Rocks is a wonder of rock music.
I’m full of wonder.
Notes: In Denver on our way back from a trip to the black hills of South Dakota (more on this later) – had to get up at 3 am to fit this site in and work it around our flight home – plan to get back for a show sometime. I have more pictures, this is my favorite taken with an iPhone.
Don’t worry about me
The people I have met – the music I have played – the places I have been
The last few weeks have been a whirlwind
Below is a picture of my new car on a trip I took a few days ago up to Bar Harbor in Maine. Just me and my new mini motoring around – and it was something – it was what I needed.
I wake each day with the desire to do the best with the time in front of me.
And I sleep each night downloading the wonder and allowing it to cycle through my dreams.
I really am blessed.
Is there still pain?
Yes – there will always be –
But that is not the default mode
The default mode is to live, to laugh and to love.
I have more traveling to do in the coming weeks and will return to more blogging at some point
Wish you all well my friends>
Music and Ink…..and blogging
I woke this morning with full awareness that my mind and spirit were connected, attached to my body that was hurling through space on a giant rock. That rock was spinning in a beautiful dance of gravity playing a part in an endless universe … which may be just a drop in a vast ocean of countless other universes.
Yeah baby, I’m back!
It makes all the mundane connections with people I know seem nothing short of miraculous.– I mean,… to make “me”— all these weird connections of people, places and things over the eons of time since before we even got to living in the caves – I just think about that — everything had to line up or this “me” that is writing would not be here—- and that goes the same for each person that reads this — and also the same for the lady at the deli that I will let cut in ahead of me because she has two screaming kids and needs to get her maple ham and American cheese.
Which makes the connections that are truly “special” nothing short of divine because ….. I mean, …. What are the chances that you and me have a conversation?
It just causes the brain to ignite and fire countless neurons to not figure out.
You may think that this is a strange —- but I think like this all the time —– and have not thought like this in many weeks.
Because I was not connected.
My mind was in severe pain – my spirit was lost and whirring out of control – and my body seemed to disconnected.
They said I was depressed – I don’t know if that word fits – but I will go with it because it and me were so similar that you could not tell us apart even at a short distance.
So we go to ink –
A thought in my mind – that becomes a sketch (in fact, many sketches before it was right) – that goes into illustrator to become a vector – that sings to me in a perfect riot of frenzied negative space.
My mind thinks it – my spirit is at peace with it – the tattoo artist inks it to my body – we are all together again. One happy family that is the trio of the Wayne. I am here – I am validated.
My first tattoo – and already thinking how to add to it.
And as I ran through the chords of “Key to the Highway” last night on my acoustic guitar — I understand what Big Bill Broonzy was saying – I understand the feeling – I understand the blues.
I get it – there are things and feelings that we all share – that are the human condition – It’s part of jamming a spirit in a body and having a mind trying to figure out what to do with it- how to make a way – how to rise above and move forward.
Isn’t that part of why we blog? This need to connect and validate our existence.
I play a lot of guitar and I sing all the time – this is new – but was always there.
I just could not put in the work to access it – I don’t feel like that anymore.
I feel that I have nothing to fear – I feel that I better get whatever is in there out.
Be dammed if it is good or bad or indifferent.
Just get it out!
So I feel better – And the only reason I am writing instead of playing right now is because it is too early and I will wake the kids.
I leave you with a new song that speaks to me – attitude and blues – I need it.
An unnamed music blogger left Amy off a list of British singers. (I have no problem with the list or the blogger – will add a link here if it is ok with him – great blogging friend!) – The omission got me thinking of this song (funny how one thing triggers another?). Music is subjective — but talent is not — real talent is a rare and precious thing. Maybe it was the full moon and no sleep — but Amy was a tragic loss as great as any in the music world. Sometimes you need a shot of real soul.
I was 11 and I was a little boy in England — I was not a happy child – I was an intense and deep thinking young dude.
Music was not a thing to me.
I sorta liked the Beatles and T-rex and Slade (ok, I did like Slade)
But – I didn’t have anything to really connect me.
——– Until the day I would not forget
“Spiders from Mars” arrived at the house.
And it was the Album Cover that mesmerized me.
This was a weak-artsy–deep-thinking-cool-dude. And he had arrived.
The impact of this cover and that day stays with me.
And it had nothing to do with the music – it was this persona – this image —– This ballsy statement of — “I am here, deal with it”
We were waiting for you – This was my pied piper moment – I was hypnotized.
It was my streets with some amazing shift of culture.
If this was ok then I could be ok — We, the new generation had arrived.
This is my last good memory of England; we would soon move to the United States – Ironically – I now live within striking distance from where David Bowie had a home in Woodstock.
This is my upstate NY homage to my hero – yeah…I am not a young dude anymore – And I live in a redneck land.
We become ok with our surroundings and our place in this world or we do not.
David Bowie helped me understand that.
Cheers from the cave!
Just in case you missed what a sublime sense of humor he had.
Sad to report that I lost my wife this morning.
We are coming up on three years since she was diagnosed and I refuse to say that she lost her battle with cancer.
She did not lose anything.
She fought, she kept her spirit and she cared for those around her more than herself.
She was an amazing woman and I am lucky to have met her – she took a wreck of a human being and made him happy.
Truly happy and truly blessed.
There is no more that a person can do in this world – and no more can be expected.
She turned the light on in my soul –
November can be a cruel month, but then again ….can’t they all.
I was dreading the arrival of my least favorite month, and then I thought, why not go with it. Enjoy the season as best you can. It’s all about the orange – orange leaves, orange pumpkins and hunters all flamed up in orange.
So I did a little rework on my favorite orange photograph.
And found a great version of my favorite November song.
Here we go people.
Cheers from the cave!
Standing on my grave on a cool fall day while the sun warms my face.
A strange feeling – not sad or fatal – but weirdly calming – none of us gets away with tricking destiny.
We coerce and tempt – we punch and pull – we struggle and scream.
But it comes anyway.
Wait, … hang about ….. hold on a minute……
We are still here
This not over – the struggle part continues – the dark days – the drama – the conflict – yeah, … all in there.
But the ink is not dry.
We are skipping ahead and reading a few lines.
We get what we choose or we take what is left —- there is no third way.
This will be the end – but damn it – let’s make the remaining pages something special.
Let’s leave nothing undone.
These are my thoughts after meeting the caretaker at the cemetery and picking out the resting place for my wife and I. As you may know if you follow me – my wife has been battling cancer and it has not been going our way. The diagnosis was dire two years ago – and nothing has stopped it from progressing.
Here we are– making final arrangements. Not because we want to put them into action, but more so we can clear them from our minds.
Anybody who faces this comes to this – this point of “giving in” to all the possibilities that are coming at you.
It’s not “giving up” —– giving up means waiting around for the bad to happen…….we are not waiting , we are doing.
We are looking this bastard right in the face and not turning away.
We are still here.
We had this awesome eclipse last night at the cave. I took a picture as it started with clouds and a picture nearing the peak without clouds…..Why not put them together? There are no rules to photoshop—there are no rules to blog posts—-Just two honest pics combining to make it look more like it felt.
The truth is out there.
And then something happened:
The moment you look at something and it is different
The thing itself is the same but as the Dude would say:
“new shit has come to light”