Solstice

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Summer Solstice

As I lay down the night before – I say to myself  “I’m not getting up at 4am to chase the sunrise, I kinda want to sleep”

I woke at 4am – and I knew that I would get after it – it’s the solstice – I love the solstice

Mankind has loved this day since they figured out what it was – the steady reliable cycle of the sun bringing stability to an unstable world— countless generations paying homage to the spinning of the earth – countless people making what they will of it.

Gods are formed around the mystery of the passage of time. The journey of our birth to our death that spins and moves in a universe of wonder.

I love the solstice. It connects me to bigger things.

I visited my grandmother in England many, many moons ago. I wanted to go to Stonehenge and we went on the solstice – I did not know what that meant – I did not know it was a “thing”.

Since then its stayed with – watching me – checking in on me as I stumble through life.

I remember my grandmother as I drive to chase the light – it’s a big thing to understand that the world will spin – things will flow – and we will go – we can join in the cosmic dance or we can wait it out —- either way the solstice will cycle on and on.

Notes: Lake George NY is close enough to be local for me – There was a woman walking her dog on the beach and nothing else going on in town at sunrise. I didn’t have to edit this photo except for a splash of highlight on the buoy – a quick shake of light – nothing else.  If you wonder how I am — I say — mostly I am ok – I’m not the same- I try to make the most of the days instead of the least of the days —- that is a better way to live.

 

Open Mic

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Signups were at 7, I strolled in at 7 after and was 7 on the list. My name in pencil as a testament to this little car-wash of fear for my soul.

I sat down in a chair next to a person I knew from a past life – he was already drunk  – I used to be his boss – he reminded me that I was his best boss and I was a good guy ~ life takes strange twists and turns. (drunk may be his normal state- he did not look well)

A snarky old guy with a leather hat approached and grabbed his coffee from the table next to me – Oh no, I sat in his seat! I apologized; he snarked back “I’m standing right here!”

This is a great start – my alcoholic ex-coworker drunk off his ass and I’ve pissed off one of the regulars here in this little theater –  Somehow all this is good with me – I mean; the water you swim is the water you swim – but you swim anyway.

We are told that instead of the three songs, we will only do two, due to the large amount of sign-ups— Maybe 11 total? And then go around a second time for one more.

I’ve moved to a new spot in this little theater – away from all the strife at the entrance – I meet another new guy  – he is a drummer, seems to be a good guy.

Let the show begin –

And it did.

By the time it got to me – I was ok with going up on stage for the first time – I had trouble getting my guitar to work  – but the host was very gracious in helping —–

I sang and played “Mississippi Kid” by Lynyrd Skynyrd – My version bears little resemblance to the original – I go straight 12 bar blues on my acoustic guitar – I love the song and the snarling attitude of it – My version is closer to that of Jerry Lee Lewis (but I humbly submit that my performance is just a wisp of smoke compared to the fire of the original “killer”).

I told the audience that it was my first time and I was only good for one tune –

And I did it!

By the time I got to the last verse, I was dancing a bit and enjoying myself.

It won’t be my last

I will be going back.

For a few moments that night – I was the “Mississippi kid”!

 

Notes: I bought a new acoustic guitar last March for my birthday and I play it every day –  (maybe I’ve missed a total of a week if you add all the days I couldn’t play in the last 10 months)

On February 1st (exactly 14 months to the day I lost my wife, for those of you that know me) I stepped on a stage and did an open mic.

It went well – I am not ruining this post with actual video; but that is probably coming!

I did mess with guitar in my earlier life, never anything past the tinkering stage and never complete songs.

And I never tried to sing before.

But, so what?

Life is to live.

Go live.

Question: What would be your song if and when you do (did?) this?

 

 

Red Rocks

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Red Rocks

It was still dark when I got there.

Kids lined up outside the entrance, in sleeping bags under the Colorado sky.

The middle of the 2nd night for 21 Pilots.

“All my friends are heathens take it slow, wait for them to ask you who you know – please don’t make any sudden moves, you don’t know the half of the abused,”

The “us and them” theme of rock misc.

Now I’m them – I’m too old – I’m too slow – I’m the establishment – I’m done…….

I’m at Red Rocks

Sunrise – the sleeping bag kids sit up on the hill and face the light as the earth turns.

A ride we are on – this rock hurling through space and spinning our time away.

I’m ok – somehow, I’m ok

Now with the day started ~ the yoga and gym people arrive – they are using this arena to workout, to physically connect – the temple is their body – they are worshiping all around me.

I’m taking some shots with my camera – I’m happy to be here – I feel like I’m in the middle of a wildlife special – watching the locals interact with their environment – just a visitor – just a stranger.

Red Rocks is a wonder of rock music.

I’m full of wonder.

 

 

 

Notes: In Denver on our way back from a trip to the black hills of South Dakota (more on this later) – had to get up at 3 am to fit this site in and work it around our flight home – plan to get back for a show sometime. I have more pictures, this is my favorite taken with an iPhone.

Journey

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Do not judge my journey

If you want to try:

Please put my shoes on and walk—-not forward~ No — Too easy –

Walk back – walk through all the years – walk through all the pain – walk until there are no shoes on a tender little baby foot – then you can judge me — If you still want to.

I refuse to do that anymore, to me or to anyone else – we can only go forward — and I only know what you dare to tell me of your own journey — and that is still just a drop in the ocean of your existence…

I won’t judge you – that is a promise, that is my philosophy – that is my mantra

– if we meet on the same trail; I will try and help you – or at the very least, not make your way more difficult.

We each make our way– we are each walking the best we know how.

Until we learn to walk better –

We can always learn to walk better.

Notes: This is on one of the trails in Acadia National Park – so many wonderful steps in the high ground by the ocean. The landscape is majestic >>>>>>> it restored my soul.

 

It keeps me running

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A couple weeks ago I did my first 5K! I ran with the kids and it took me almost 34 minutes – but I did it! I’m posting this picture so you can see how I am and what I look like in June of 2016 ~ I have come a long way in the last 7 months – I thank all of you – I don’t want to name names and embarrass anybody but there were some who went above and beyond to reach out to me – this community is so warm and so welcoming. Really, I have no words to describe it.

Beyond that: I meditate everyday – I play guitar and sing (have to play by a fire this week!) – I have ink! – I am heading out to the badlands in a week or so for another trip – I am in therapy (my therapist is a godsend) —– And all this stuff is new — I am becoming something else – I cannot return to where I was.

I am blessed and I am grateful ~ And I run now not to escape myself

I run to become myself

 

Mini Me

Don’t worry about me

The people I have met – the music I have played – the places I have been

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind

Below is a picture of my new car on a trip I took a few days ago up to Bar Harbor in Maine. Just me and my new mini motoring around – and it was something – it was what I needed.

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I wake each day with the desire to do the best with the time in front of me.

And I sleep each night downloading the wonder and allowing it to cycle through my dreams.

I really am blessed.

Is there still pain?

Yes – there will always be –

But that is not the default mode

The default mode is to live, to laugh and to love.

 

I have more traveling to do in the coming weeks and will return to more blogging at some point

Wish you all well my friends>

 

 

 

You are what you post ~ writing Part 3

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I did this in 2014 after receiving the “Dragon Loyalty  Award” – I did an illustration instead of the award- This took my music blog in a new direction. I am facing my dragon but not ready to kill him – I mean , what’s the point?  Isn’t the facing the main part? And I don’t have the stomach for it. Nasty business -Dragon Slaying

Great work

I ask you my blogging friends to take a look at your best ever post.

Don’t tell me they are all great or all bad—– just not possible.

Some of them hit a higher mark – some of them strike a chord.

Sometimes we surprise ourselves and exceed our zone.

Then we have a new level to break.

It’s called getting better – and it happens all the time out here.

It’s the product that determines our worth – simple as that – there is no resting.

You are only as good as your last blog.

You can be a writer – you can be a poet or an artist — you can call yourself a photographer – you just need one post to prove it. Most of my blogging friends have already done it many times.

 

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I have better images on my blog but this is my favorite. It is sunrise on Lake George “inverted” – A simple thing in Photoshop – The blacks become white and the oranges become blue. Fire turns into ice. There is an “abstract art” emotional feel that I can’t explain, but I like.  — cool and….. more cool.

 

Blogging is Community

Is it because we will never meet? Is that what drives the confidence of thought and discussion?

And would we share if we all got together at a cook out, or would we sip our beers and think it such a long time for the cheese to melt on our burgers — so we could just eat and go?

Would we still connect in real life?

I’d like to think so.

And what is real life anyway? So much communication is done through devices. Is the old way of meeting for coffee considered the old way and quickly becoming obsolete?

Connections I have made here, while sometimes ethereal, have been and continue to be a source of real comfort and strength for me as a human being. I know I move through this world a little easier because I blog.

We all need to be somebody.

Before I stepped on this electronic stage – I wasn’t as much me – Now I am.

This cat is “out of the bag” – and not going back.

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This was my me trying to make sense of this crazy blogging world – It did not get much attention when posted but seems to fit here. I love this world — this is my home.