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Post and Hank

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Post Malone and Hank Williams

 

My Hank Williams bender started after an unsuccessful “sit-in” with some musicians at a local American Legion. I brought my guitar and played in the circle — I was lost —- not much country in my soul that night – and none of it transferred through my fingers to the other players and patrons—— so I started listening to Hank — got back to the start.

 

My Post Malone bender started with my 16 year old —- I heard it from him — and I’m like — “Wow, this rapper dude has way more style and —- and ….  “it” factor —- man for his time and place thing…..”

 

Intangible but so relatable — edgy and cool — not too much of either — the right mix for his day.

 

Really Caveguy?

 

— Post and Hank?

 

Why not?

 

I saw Post on the VMA’s — I was shocked — I did not expect him to be white with writing on his face – I can’t believe its 2018 and I’m shocked – doesn’t sound white.———-  Wow! How could I have messed this up?

What does it matter? — good music is good music —- white, black, pink or blues — the music is what matters.

 

So now I’m working on some Hank and some Post for my next open mic— what will they think of me?

 

I better practice hard and get it right — get it tight and bring all my soul —- then I have a chance. (Maybe)

 

 

Joan – once more

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Summer in Saratoga at Café Lena for round 2 with Joan Osborne

I fell out of love and into reality with this goddess of soulful sweet elocution. The words become charged messages of hope, despair, love and loss — pain and joy –……  you know —– life

 

More specifically:

Adult  ….  grown up life.

This aint no young person angst — this is vintage, weathered acceptance of what is and what was.

I’m not calling anyone old here — she is my age — I know the track of years – I know the shared fight of quiet despair as we plunge through to new layers of time.

Inevitable

not calling it good, bad or indifferent — got plenty of all three.

And that’s what I got with another dose of Dylan Music.

 

One song destroyed me (again)


Tryin’ to Get to Heaven

 

The air is getting hotter
There’s a rumbling in the skies
I’ve been wading through the high muddy water
With the heat rising in my eyes
Every day your memory grows dimmer
It doesn’t haunt me like it did before
I’ve been walking through the middle of nowhere
Trying to get to heaven before they close the door

 

When I was in Missouri
They would not let me be
I had to leave there in a hurry
I only saw what they let me see
You broke a heart that loved you
Now you can seal up the book and not write anymore
I’ve been walking that lonesome valley
Trying to get to heaven before they close the door

 

People on the platforms
Waiting for the trains
I can hear their hearts a-beatin’
Like pendulums swinging on chains
When you think that you lost everything
You find out you can always lose a little more
I’m just going down the road feeling bad
Trying to get to heaven before they close the door

 

I’m going down the river
Down to New Orleans
They tell me everything is gonna be all right
But I don’t know what “all right” even means
I was riding in a buggy with Miss Mary-Jane
Miss Mary-Jane got a house in Baltimore
I been all around the world, boys
Now I’m trying to get to heaven before they close the door

 

Gonna sleep down in the parlor
And relive my dreams
I’ll close my eyes and I wonder
If everything is as hollow as it seems
Some trains don’t pull no gamblers
No midnight ramblers, like they did before
I been to Sugar Town, I shook the sugar down
Now I’m trying to get to heaven before they close the door

 

Bob Dylan


She came out between shows to sell merchandise – I know its part of the job — but still – an honor to share a few words and have her sign my record. This song probably not written about grief; and the resulting complete annihilation of the soul. — but this night it was — but also healing in a way —- yeah  –

Music is like that.

Again, cheers from the cave!

 

 

 

 

Talent not required

 

zopenmic2Driving to my open mic – doubt, fear, dread and all their little cousins are creeping in——– The stark realization that I may indeed suck – I may crash and burn – I may be a pathetic individual.

And then resolve.

That may all be true – in fact….it  may be worse – but, I will not wake the morrow having not done this!!!

On we go.

Like Hannibal with his war elephants heading over the alps — so what, it’s snowing — so what, its not possible —- Rome is waiting-= Let’s go!

I did not expect a few friends to be there,….. waiting on me – very uplifting – I only gave a two hour notice.  It was heartening.

I was #7 on the list – there would be an hour and half wait — I slowly drank a beer.

We talked – we joked – it was a good night .

Then I was on stage playing a couple songs – “Man of constant Sorrow” went well— except I could not hear my guitar – it was strangely other worldly – like I was watching myself  — I was out of myself.

I changed up my plans and played the Clash’s  “Should I Stay” for the second song.

It started to flow – I felt in a grove – like surfing or skating – it was wildly terrifying and relaxing.

The response was positive – I did it – I’m not ready for American Idol –  That’s not the point.

I’m not ready to lay down and give up – I’m still striving and pushing — still barking at the moon — still flailing against the dying of the light.

 

That is the point.

 

Cheers from the cave!

 

Lost Love and Open Mics

loveflows124Living is the doing of life – it would be magical if every picture – every song – every word was pure inspiration — It’s not like that.

This is as good as it gets – I’m sending anyway – its important I post what I got on Sunday morning. Not thrilled with it – digital painting is difficult because it’s so unlimited – its tough to keep on track. I wanted a nighttime scene with cliffs, flowers and flowing angry beauty (don’t we all?)  – I ended up with this – if I hadn’t promised myself I would just post where I am and get on with it — I would not – I would have scrapped it and maybe even stopped painting for a while —- no more of that – we got what we got, and we move forward.

Wednesday night – I will do an open mic — I’m going to play “Man of Constant Sorrow” and “Little Black Submarines” – just my cheap-ass Epiphone – and my weathered and fumbling voice.

Why am I putting myself through this? Because this is what living is all about. The splash of the cold ocean water against your face as you walk out onto the beach of discovery.

 

I may make a complete fool of myself – I’m going anyway.

 

Cheers from the cave!

Moonstruck

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Moonstruck

Excuse my randomness – I’m rebuilding.

A few days ago, in my weekly spin class (don’t judge), I had this vision of two lovers in a boat, a silent and beautiful embrace as they drifted toward the waterfall.

I thought I would sketch, then go for a digital painting – I promised myself I would post on Sunday with my progress. I need structure and accountability in my life — lucky for me, it’s been arriving in droves lately.

I’m working in photoshop and illustrator, bringing this thing to life —  I can only show the sketch this morning — so we post away.

This image is open for interpretation – Ironically, I don’t see it as death – I see it as being strapped in for the ride – once you go over the waterfall of love – you have no control of how it goes – where you hit – hard crashing destruction – or a cool refreshing wash of a tropical lagoon.

You give yourself away – and you find so much more — is it worth it? If it isn’t – then what is?

We also had an awesome full moon last night – And it is Easter – Happy Easter all! Spring, hope and all the rest.

Notes: I’m writing this as someone who is reflecting on the past – like if you go to Paris then you come home and write about Paris — I could not and would not do this post if I was walking down the Champs-Elysées —— maybe eating a fresh croissant and wishing I paid more attention in French 3 back in 11th grade.

We’ll always have Paris.

Acclamations de la grotte!

 

Ghost Ship

ghostship

The ghost ship blog

 

I’m afraid that’s me

 

Visitors only see the past

Adrift aimlessly though the cyber ocean

Sails worn and shredded –  at the mercy of the currents

Beached on a nameless archipelago

Sandy desolation with just a few crabs and a couple fallen coconut trees

I guess it’s where we are.

 

I’m not going to make any grand statements about keeping this going – or stopping.

 

This started as a graded project for a college graphics class – it continued through compulsion and some exhilaration …  became a place of solace as my life crumbled — and now?

 

Rebuilding and stronger we take a walk around the deck

 

Do we scuttle? …….or do we scrape off the barnacles and see what she’s got?

 

What’s the point of all this rambling anyway?

 

We bloggers write because we need to write – then when we don’t need to write – we stop.

Maybe no more complicated than that.

If you’ve stayed with me this long…. who knows?

Muted cheers from the cave on location.