Driving to my open mic – doubt, fear, dread and all their little cousins are creeping in——– The stark realization that I may indeed suck – I may crash and burn – I may be a pathetic individual.
And then resolve.
That may all be true – in fact….it may be worse – but, I will not wake the morrow having not done this!!!
On we go.
Like Hannibal with his war elephants heading over the alps — so what, it’s snowing — so what, its not possible —- Rome is waiting-= Let’s go!
I did not expect a few friends to be there,….. waiting on me – very uplifting – I only gave a two hour notice. It was heartening.
I was #7 on the list – there would be an hour and half wait — I slowly drank a beer.
We talked – we joked – it was a good night .
Then I was on stage playing a couple songs – “Man of constant Sorrow” went well— except I could not hear my guitar – it was strangely other worldly – like I was watching myself — I was out of myself.
I changed up my plans and played the Clash’s “Should I Stay” for the second song.
It started to flow – I felt in a grove – like surfing or skating – it was wildly terrifying and relaxing.
The response was positive – I did it – I’m not ready for American Idol – That’s not the point.
I’m not ready to lay down and give up – I’m still striving and pushing — still barking at the moon — still flailing against the dying of the light.
That is the point.
Cheers from the cave!