Standing on my grave on a cool fall day while the sun warms my face.
A strange feeling – not sad or fatal – but weirdly calming – none of us gets away with tricking destiny.
We coerce and tempt – we punch and pull – we struggle and scream.
But it comes anyway.
Wait, … hang about ….. hold on a minute……
We are still here
This not over – the struggle part continues – the dark days – the drama – the conflict – yeah, … all in there.
But the ink is not dry.
We are skipping ahead and reading a few lines.
We get what we choose or we take what is left —- there is no third way.
This will be the end – but damn it – let’s make the remaining pages something special.
Let’s leave nothing undone.
Let’s live!
These are my thoughts after meeting the caretaker at the cemetery and picking out the resting place for my wife and I. As you may know if you follow me – my wife has been battling cancer and it has not been going our way. The diagnosis was dire two years ago – and nothing has stopped it from progressing.
Here we are– making final arrangements. Not because we want to put them into action, but more so we can clear them from our minds.
Anybody who faces this comes to this – this point of “giving in” to all the possibilities that are coming at you.
It’s not “giving up” —– giving up means waiting around for the bad to happen…….we are not waiting , we are doing.
We are looking this bastard right in the face and not turning away.
We are still here.
Cave of Fame 
Wow, gripping post. I am thinking of you two and hoping for the better.
Thanks much!
Powerful post. I’ll be praying for you and your family.
thanks
Thinking of you and your family Wayne.
Thank you for sharing this difficult journey with us, keep looking that bastard in the face.
Thanks for the support Geoff – if I didn’t have the blog already going – I would not share this – but it is helping me through.
Wayner T-Bone
It’s never about the score or functions of the game. It’s always about the sceneries we see and the company we keep. The memories will be filled for your family of the journey not the end results. Your always in our thoughts and prayers. Love you Guys
Thanks my friend – I will meet you on the fairway some day soon!
My thoughts are with you and your wife.
Stay strong Wayne. Like you, I have also made my final arrangements. Got a lovely niche bought and final matters all settled 😉 Like you, I stared at death and fought it a few times and am still here 🙂 Blessings
I don’t quite know what to say, Wayne. Stay strong, sir. Love. Just love.
Thank you my friend
We can face the music or dance with it. Dance the best you can. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thanks my friend
Whew, Wayne…..so hard to read this one. No, I cannot begin to imagine. You are a stronger person than I.
It helps to get it out – I would not start a blog with this —but since I already have it…
Your family is in my thoughts and prays. It is hard to know exactly what to say. Just know there are people who care about all of you and are here for you. May you Find strength and love in each other.
Thanks much — it is a strange difficult journey with this stuff — as you well know.
Your family is in my thoughts and prays. It is hard to know exactly what to say. Just know there are people who care about all of you and are here for you. May you Find strength and love in each other.
My heart is with you two. You are in a Zone no one can understand until they have been there. I wish your strength and love for one another grows larger with each day.
You have friends. You are not alone.
DZ
Thanks Doc
Stay strong…I don’t know what else I can really say.
Thanks Mike
I wish I could say more in words but I can’t find them right now. Rest assured you and your family is in my heart right now.