Standing on my grave on a cool fall day while the sun warms my face.
A strange feeling – not sad or fatal – but weirdly calming – none of us gets away with tricking destiny.
We coerce and tempt – we punch and pull – we struggle and scream.
But it comes anyway.
Wait, … hang about ….. hold on a minute……
We are still here
This not over – the struggle part continues – the dark days – the drama – the conflict – yeah, … all in there.
But the ink is not dry.
We are skipping ahead and reading a few lines.
We get what we choose or we take what is left —- there is no third way.
This will be the end – but damn it – let’s make the remaining pages something special.
Let’s leave nothing undone.
These are my thoughts after meeting the caretaker at the cemetery and picking out the resting place for my wife and I. As you may know if you follow me – my wife has been battling cancer and it has not been going our way. The diagnosis was dire two years ago – and nothing has stopped it from progressing.
Here we are– making final arrangements. Not because we want to put them into action, but more so we can clear them from our minds.
Anybody who faces this comes to this – this point of “giving in” to all the possibilities that are coming at you.
It’s not “giving up” —– giving up means waiting around for the bad to happen…….we are not waiting , we are doing.
We are looking this bastard right in the face and not turning away.
We are still here.