This year’s nominees are (mostly) wack!-Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame 2015

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts – Here starts the “one hit wonder” phase for the hall.

“Hey dude-Joan Jett rocked and she was hot-I know she had another song after  I love Rock and Roll – I just can’t think of it –hang on let me google this.”

If that is the typical reaction- I ask you – Hall worthy? – I think not.

Bill Withers – at least his “one” hit was so good that I almost don’t have to list it.  Ain’t no Sunshine is something else –but again –I have to google to find something else.

Before you say that I am not a dedicated music fan because I don’t know the catalog of these important artists — really —- seriously —- Music fans are crazy and subjective —but find me one – just one— that had either of these “classic-serious-music-stars” tattooed on them anywhere – I don’t care how drunk they were!!!

It has not happened.

 

Now let’s get to serious Artists:

In the spirit of: We need to add Ringo because all the other Beatles are in separately and we need the complete set.

“Let’s make up an award that will fit him.”

Hey- I got it – he always chooses excellent musicians to hang out with- how about AWARD FOR MUSICAL EXCELLENCE—Really RRHOF? If Joan Jett gets in for her insightful lyrics—why not man up and put Ringo in for his great writing like … “no no no no I don’t smoke it no more, I’m tired of waking up on the floor.”

I blame the  Kiss induction of last year for these “treasures” going in. It lowered the bar and declared open season in Cleveland for all the flash.

The others I have no problem with:

Lou Reed and SVR are icons. If you ever heard “Sweet Jane” on the radio or were ever lucky enough to be there when Stevie stepped on a wah wah pedal—MAGIC BABY, MAGIC!

Paul Butterfield is good honest hardworking blue-collar blues.

Green Day is an actual successful rock band in an era devoid of actual successful rock bands.

I don’t know -The “5” Royales – but I will give the hall the benefit of the doubt.

 

BUT-deny “The Smiths”?  Whatever you think of Morrissey- this band was a game changer.

I also would have put Kraftwerk in ahead of that first batch I mentioned.

But hey- I am just a simple blogger.

Cheers from the cave!

 

 

 

 

Kiss my Ass

kiss-calmed-down

I do not like this band -if they never visit Cleveland to claim their place in Rock n’ Roll history; that is fine with me!

I was O.K. with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame not allowing them in….

BUT…

I know the names:

Gene Simmons, Ace Frehley, Paul Stanley and Peter Criss

We all know those names and those are the names that the Hall of Fame accepted for induction.

There are a legion of fans still enlisted in the Kiss Army. They made enough records that you could cover an entire ocean and not let the fishes get any light…They are a raging success and deserve to be in no matter what us “serious” rock music fans think.

I mean, was the Ramones hit with Rock and Roll High School really any deeper than Rock and Roll all Nite?… Oh yeah-they were cool but Kiss was all flash.

They were really good flash-with smoke and make up and all the other stuff that made the kids go crazy.

Even the grown up kids. Even now.

But Kiss can’t get it together for the original four to play a couple songs for fans that have made them gods- Fans that have paid the mortgages on mansions and the insurance on fancy sports cars for years and years.

It is one night and a couple tunes- that will allow you guys to take this little carnival of fantasy on the road and laugh all the way to the bank for the rest of your days. It will allow 4 or 5 generations of your heirs to live like kings if they have any sense at all and not waste this wealth that your followers have bestowed on you.

But no—-Wha, wha wha…Gene Simmons wants everybody that ever pretended to be Ace Frehley and Peter Criss to play and be inducted because they are just as much of the Kiss experience.

And it seems that 3 or 4 fake Aces are too many Aces in the deck for the original Ace.

Whatever.

Could you please just give the fans what they want one more time?

Don’t make us haters right.

The Devil’s Music

Robert Johnson's studio portrait, circa 1935—o...
Robert Johnson’s studio portrait, circa 1935—one of only two verified known published photographs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Imagine yourself as a struggling bluesman in the 1930’s going from town to town, playing little juke joints and street corners in the rural south. Maybe you get in trouble with women and whiskey, maybe you catch some grief for playing evil music…I’m just guessing here. You may even wonder if playing this type of music is a good or bad thing. There would not be much fame or money—Rock stars don’t exist yet because you are going to be the first one.

So at a point in your life when you wonder just what the hell you are doing…you meet a white man at the crossroads (because he won’t go into town at night) and sign a record deal that probably makes him a lot more money than you- this seals the deal and makes you devote your life (there won’t be much of it left) playing the devil’s music.

Yeah, I made that up…

The actual legend has the young Robert Johnson meeting the devil at a crossroads at midnight and selling his soul in order to play guitar like no one ever played it before.  The devil wouldn’t take too long to collect on this bargain as Robert Johnson would die at the age of 27 by means of poison; either a jealous woman or angry man? (the details are sketchy at best) There is little doubt that he got real talent so quick that people were looking for a story. There is also no doubt that stories fly fast and furious when you leave this earth by tangled means.

When his records were re-released many years later in England…they had a profound influence on musicians like Eric Clapton, Led Zeppelin and The Rolling stones. If blues is the cornerstone of rock music, it is not too much of a stretch to say that a lot of the weight and grit in that first heavy brick can be traced back to this man. Rock music owes its substance to him.

I have taken shots at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but they got it right by putting him in with the first nominees.

So as I am starting a page called “The of 7 Wonders of Rock Music” with a crossroads in Mississippi- There is a marker at the intersection of U.S. Routes 61 and 49 in Clarksdale. This is the one that is tagged as the tourist place of  this legend… But to complete this wonder, I would also go with any deserted crossroads in the State of Mississippi at Midnight (full moon optional) as a pure rock n roll alternative.

We have the first of the seven wonders of Rock music…6 more to go…get your comments in now to help find the others.

Joe Strummer’s Telecaster

Even though The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is adding both Rush and Donna Summer to their sometimes questionable list of stars. They do have this, this famous Telecaster alone is worth the trip to Cleveland…. and they have Mr. Rock Historian Dude talking about it.

On the plus side, they are also adding Randy Newman in 2013- Do you think Neil Pert will play drums and Getty Lee will add a killer bass (please don’t sing) on a version of “Burn on” with Randy?…”There’s a red moon rising On the Cuyahoga river rolling into Cleveland to the lake ”  That might start me on the way to respecting Rush…just might, but that is a long trip for me to take… “Burn on, Big River, Burn On”