The Cave Olympics – Metal

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The Cave Olympics – Metal

Metal is not my thing, I like some of it but I am not in the club. I am not submerged in this murky subculture – I needed some help from metal heads I know in real life and in the blogging world.

To me- metal is a light and humorous distraction from my other music. I think of it as Van Halen and The Scorpions. (Cartoony with a flair for the over dramatic)

No!! To metal people this is not right.

Just like real drinkers like their liquor aged and neat. Real metal heads like their music black and evil with no touch of water …if you please and thank you.

There is the famous story of Robert Johnson selling his soul to the devil in order to play guitar like no one before him (the genesis of rock n roll). It may be myth but it fuels this whole thing. https://caveoffame.com/2013/02/20/the-devils-music/

On the other side we have stories of Black Sabbath painting rooms black and doing witchcraft…all while figuring out the small tonal shift on guitar that would forge a new evil sound.

They did not make just make a deal with the devil-they are invited over to the Lucifer Mansion for the Thursday night poker games!

Again-is this myth or reality-is this just for show or are we true believers-it really does not matter- it just matters that this “vibe of hell” is what the passionate of this genre like to blindly follow.

It is the zip in this trip.

So I give you my medal winners of this very scary genre of which I have a new found fear.

The Bronze- Opeth.Blackwater Park

Death Metal is to Sweden like those little funky knives with everything are to Switzerland. It is a factory for this music. And before a “speed metal” or “black metal” freak flames some angry comment about Opeth being really a “progressive metal band with a death metal start that kind of draw influences from everywhere.” Let me say that they are a “progressive metal band with a death metal start that kind of draw influences from everywhere.” And let me also say that the only thing scarier than metal music is any comment thread on a metal website-join in at your own risk!

The Silver-Metallica.Master of Puppets

The vocals are clean and the guitar is fast. You could call this a nice drinkable American blend. Thanks to http://1001albumsin10years.wordpress.com/ for this suggestion!

The Gold-Black Sabbath.Paranoid

There is no argument from metal lovers of all kinds that these guys are the original. I know the song Black Sabbath is considered the first example of the genre but I did want something a little lighter for the gold medal….you know something that is a hit and that the kids can dance to!

Thanks to :

http://mikeladano.com/

http://heavymetaloverload.com/

another couple of metal aficionadas that helped lead me to this gold.

And as always, Cheers from the cave!

Loudness.Crazy Nights

So much Metal at the height of its power- big hair and Marshal amps, maybe some boots and make-up to go with them sleek sexy guitars and it takes over the entire world.

Loudness could have only happened when the saturation of this genre was complete. This song is a true relic that gets forgotten when metal fans talk of the good ol’ days.

I love this song- pure attitude and flash with all the offensiveness sanitized out as it is washed to brilliance in the eastern sun. American metal gets transposed into a cartoon of itself and sent back to us in a bright package of innocent excited exuberance. Metal at its best is cartoony music with monsters and superheroes competing on stage with guitar gods and devils. Right back to the beginning with Black Sabbath dragging Ironman from a cheap comic and Lemmy dealing cards with evil in the “Ace of Spades”.

 “The beat kicks you in the head”

It can make us old men feel like a 14 year old boy again. And let’s face it….this was (and is) always the target audience of metal music. Like pro wrestling and video games…it is just a little creepy if we indulge in these vices as we hit half a century.

But……”The beat kicks you in the face” and “We are the heroes tonight”

I have to admit that I did enjoy the slight trip back and thank you “Loudness”