Loudness.Crazy Nights

So much Metal at the height of its power- big hair and Marshal amps, maybe some boots and make-up to go with them sleek sexy guitars and it takes over the entire world.

Loudness could have only happened when the saturation of this genre was complete. This song is a true relic that gets forgotten when metal fans talk of the good ol’ days.

I love this song- pure attitude and flash with all the offensiveness sanitized out as it is washed to brilliance in the eastern sun. American metal gets transposed into a cartoon of itself and sent back to us in a bright package of innocent excited exuberance. Metal at its best is cartoony music with monsters and superheroes competing on stage with guitar gods and devils. Right back to the beginning with Black Sabbath dragging Ironman from a cheap comic and Lemmy dealing cards with evil in the “Ace of Spades”.

 “The beat kicks you in the head”

It can make us old men feel like a 14 year old boy again. And let’s face it….this was (and is) always the target audience of metal music. Like pro wrestling and video games…it is just a little creepy if we indulge in these vices as we hit half a century.

But……”The beat kicks you in the face” and “We are the heroes tonight”

I have to admit that I did enjoy the slight trip back and thank you “Loudness”

The Defining Beauty of Parody…Thoughts on Spinal Tap and Rock Music

Cover of "This is Spinal Tap (Special Edi...
Cover of This is Spinal Tap (Special Edition)


When Spinal Tap was released in 1984, it signaled the end of a golden age in rock music. We did not realize it at the time because we were too busy enjoying it.

Around the corner, Hip hop was a baby and quickly growing and “file sharing” was ready to pounce and dismantle the whole industry. Like the dinosaurs who once wondered what those weird soft squishy things underfoot called mammals were all about.

And what are the chances of a meteor hitting the earth?

Rock music was about to be unceremoniously dethroned.

These go to 11

“Why not just make 10 louder and keep that the biggest number?”

“These go to 11”


“That is pretty, a real departure from your other stuff”

Thanks, it’s in the sad key of D-minor, I call it “Lick my Love Pump”

Maybe the funniest thing was the bit about books on tape, which was the most perfect joke since it actually happened.

I am not saying “rock is dead” and I am not saying that there is not great music out there today.


What I am saying is that once it ruled the earth as the dominant species and that did not last forever. Once we waited in line all night to get tickets to shows, because if we didn’t –we would not get a ticket. There was no V.I.P experience that could be bought by anyone with enough money. There were no rock fantasy camps! Rock music was not a video game where you got to match colors with buttons on a little plastic guitar!!! Guitars were both worshipped and smashed (a fate that has befallen false deities, rambunctious gods and statues of fanatical leaders since the beginning of time!)

Stonehenge was in danger of being trampled by dwarfs!”

Believe it or not kids-Once we were in a hurry to see stars before they ODed so we could say that we saw them instead of rushing to see them now before they go of natural causes.

“The Puppet Show gets higher billing than us! We are opening for a puppet show”

I am good with YouTube to allow access to any music of any genre at any time. I am good with bringing music with me and listening to anything I want without upsetting anyone else. If I want to crank up Lemmy and the boys doing “Ace of Spades” while mowing the lawn- in this day and age…no one can stop me.

I am also good with Pandora picking music that I don’t like based on music I like. And who can hate being able to make perfect copies of music tracks to enjoy responsibly? I am glad that we are in a different place and have no desire to return to the old days.

We can always learn to sell hats or maybe get reborn with a tour of Japan.

That was the Rock n’ Roll Dream of Spinal Tap

 Instead of playing rehashed hits with one or two original members in an obsessive gluttony of nostalgia in front of fans that wish they still could be as stupid as they once were.

“We now begin a new stage in our music development- Enjoy Spinal Tap mach 2! A jazz odyssey”

We all have to grow up and looking back at yourself and having a good laugh is a good place to start.

Thank you to Nigel, Derek, David and a spontaneously combusting drummer for showing us that.



5 good covers…. #5 Motorhead covers the Sex Pistols on German TV

No one can argue that this is a rock performance.

Nothing like a blast of Sex Pistols to get that holiday season going, here we go with another list and I want to tackle them one at a time because they demand respect. Motorhead’s version of “God save the Queen” comes in at #5

Lemmy is an icon and needs to be painted on any cave wall that talks about the history of rock music.  Some may think that heavy metal sounds cool and want to take it in a direction all their own and many have. Lemmy invented it-I know I am going to get arguments about Deep Purple and I have to admit that Smoke on the Water still sounds good. I also expect Ozzy fans to be all up in my stuff crying about the way he brought Satan and death into metal in a unique and digestible way. O.K …fine…but before we get crazy…the band Boston once claimed to have invented Heavy Metal (check the liner notes of the first Boston record). This is not a dig on any of those bands; although I reserve the right to take some shots in future posts.

With the same logic I used to proclaim that Jerry Lee Lewis made Rock n Roll an actual entity that you could see and hear and experience, I am going to say that Lemmy fleshed out heavy metal and turned it into the beast it became. He is another complicated and conflicted character that could only be a rock star or a guy pushing a shopping cart down the street yelling at himself.  He would have been great at either, I mean… would you get in his way if he was rolling a rusty cart with squeaky wheels right at you?

Anytime someone covers Johnny Rotten and Company, it gets my attention.  Whatever you think about the Sex Pistols…they were a catalyst for complete change in the landscape of music. The icon of heavy metal covering the icon of punk…delicious…makes you want to take a swig of warm beer and spit it at someone…Happy Holidays from the cave!