Checking In

deer1
Dude – you look friendly but forgive us for being cautious – we are wild animals and we have been shot at before — but…. if you are cool, we are cool.

river1
Sunrise on the Hudson
Just a quick post to let you guys know I am ok – I got up early (but not early enough to catch the sunrise where I wanted to catch it!) — so,… as I was driving north I pulled over to get the sun where I was — An ok spot on the river — Driving towards it; 4 deer were guarding the entrance and checking me out – kind of a low impact Cerberus waiting for me as I approached the dock.

Not a successful photo-shoot — but it is my first this year — this is a good step.

My life has experienced more sadness recently than ever but I feel it is finally letting go —

– because I have finally let go.

It is ok for me to feel joy, in fact, it is ok if I run to that bliss and meet it head on.

Until this week I would not let myself do that – I felt that: I did not deserve it and was not entitled to it. Those of you who have experienced great loss probably understand this.

So yesterday – I let myself have sushi for the first time in forever and it was sublime.

Today I took some photos.

Small steps indeed — but good steps.

Notes: This is more like a recovering from grief post that I would not put on this site — but I had not posted in so long, wanted everyone to know where I was.

Wish you all well.

I continue to drive myself to a new shore  – I no longer dread it is happening – I welcome it.

(Although like the deer, I am cautious)

18 thoughts on “Checking In

  1. I heard a quote recently, “never underestimate the importance of small steps” – and I agree with that wholeheartedly.
    I had sushi yesterday too and would use a similar adjective Wayne πŸ™‚

    1. Lois,
      I am just writing what it is — and it is everything, sometimes all at once. But I feel I am being guided through by powers greater than me – both in this world and beyond it.πŸŒ…

  2. Lovely how you tied all the threads together. Glad you’re airing out the grief and embracing bliss again.

All replies welcome (be nice)